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  • Writer's pictureclimbingtherainbow

Filing of reports - Emotional cycle

You know those beige/white pieces of paper that land on your doormat. That you can already identify the sender before you read the contents, because you seen that same font imbedded in your brain.

But then that sudden gush of dread that washes over you, as you prepare yourself to read sentences & paragraphs describing every aspect of your child. The aspects that you have grown to embrace & support and accept. But now when it’s written down upon these sheets, it’s been perpetrated as an alias thats finally been identified and shouldn’t be there.

So who am I exactly bringing up and caring for if they shouldn’t exist?

Now that feeling of dread has turned into anger, as every word jumps up from the beige pages they are written upon. And hits every single part of you, and now you want to fight back against a broken system. A system designed to poke round pegs in square holes. But you have already adapted your peg board, so all the pegs fit they way they should and your willing to share the design if people want to listen & learn? Because this isn’t a design created for greed & profit, this is a design about inclusion.

But the silence you receive is the only answer you need?!

So that burning anger turns into anxiety:

•Where do you begin your fight? And who do you fight with?

• Who do you have to prove to, to see the value of your child?

• What kind of world am I bringing my children up in?

By the time you have reached the bottom of the report. You have managed just enough strength through your emotions to file it in your folder, under the ever expanding tabs of social adaptation.

Ready for the next report to land and the cycle to start again.

These are the things that people don’t speak about, these are the parents standing in playgrounds always being handed papers , these are the parents photocopying reports to be believed. These are the parents feeling isolated & alone, these are the files that are becoming to heavy to carry both emotionally & physically.

But I’m here to tell you, you are not alone ❤️

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