Transition to primary school
Transitions to school 📚
It’s that time of the year where transitions begin for school. Although I do not have much understanding of transitions for high school, as we haven’t got to that stage yet. I do have experience for primary school.
I remember when I got the pack through for primary school, and the leaflets about what they would expect a child to be doing in preparation for school. At this point it was only the school nursery Harry was transitioning too, but it still came with expectations and upon getting the pack I called my mum all panicked.
Harry was not communicating and a lot of his speech was Echolalia. His social skills I can honestly say were non existent, and his emotions were very flippant. I just remember seeing all things that he should be doing and I got so overwhelmed. Part of me was filled with dread and I felt totally out of my depth.
The transition came around and I attended the stay and play session. I just remember looking around the room and seeing children playing, and Harry trying to make himself as invisible as possible and my heart sank. Soon the teachers were coming around having a chat to each parent, and I was always honest about Harry.
At that point he had just had his diagnosis, but I just felt vulnerable myself then too. I didn’t want to be just seen as that special needs parent, I wanted Harry to show the wonderful side of him. One without criterias and check points.
When I got home, I just cried and felt like I wanted to run away from it all.
I knew I should start potty training too, I had tried it once before and he wasn’t ready. But I felt I needed to tackle it, so at least I had one tick on the sheet.
One day I remember sitting next to the toilet with Harry, and pleading with him to use it. Then I just sat there staring at this little boy in front of me and I cried. I had turned into the person I didn’t want to be, I had succumb to society’s expectations and behaving this way would not do Harry any good.
Of course I apologised to Harry, kissing his fluffy blonde hair and telling him I loved him and mummy was sorry. And I knew I had to change my mindset on things.
I started to learn about ways to help Harry, and I realised nothing I did with him would be listed in the conventional way.
Which also meant societies expectations would always be unachievable for us. These sheets wouldn’t contain all elements that make Harry. infact if the roles were reversed, the world would see that some of Harrys achievements would be unachievable for the other children.
But no one wants to talk about that do they? ❤️
But Harry did master potty training before starting nursery, I found a way that worked for him. But did that tick make me feel any better? No not really if I’m honest. It didn’t have the desired affect on me I had built my hopes on.
From then on, I have found ways to adapt and overcome things for Harry. Ensuring he feels apart of everything.
He has changed a lot in the last couple of years, but I still have days where I feel reminded of society’s expectations on him and I don’t think that will ever go away.
This is my post to you parents and carers feeling like the walls are closing in on you. Having sleepless nights with worry, just know that you will never influence the world by trying to be like it.
One thing I always tell Harry is “Remember you belong in any room that you enter” 🌎 ❤️