I can’t believe as I write this, it’s been nearly 3 years since Harrys Autism diagnosis and 3 years since we opened up about our journey.
When I look back to my first ever blog post as I opened up about Harry and our journey. I still reflect to what my hopes were for him and what my heart would wish for him. I’m going to be honest and since Harrys diagnosis, I’ve spent the last 3 years being his advocate and try to ensure he gets the life he deserves. Which means along the way I’ve gained alias and I’ve also encountered people who do not share the same ambitions for him.
Like any fight or advocacy of a cause, there will be people cheering for your side and there will be people who do not want you to win. I guess that’s the sad reality we have found ourselves in 3 years down the line. I’ve come to understand that children like Harry are born into statistics, never to be treated like the beautiful individual they are, but seen more as a number on a chart of figures.
As parents you always want your child to shine and show the world what they can do, but most importantly always be themselves. But for us, whats been hurting the most is that Harry doesn’t seem to fit in anywhere.
I know that’s a bold statement, but let me explain why. For the last couple of years, we keep having this sentence said to us.
Harry isn’t your typical autistic child.
Whether it’s said to us as direct as that, or said to us in more allusive ways. It’s always got the same meaning behind it which is “He doesn’t quite fit in here”
Its been really hard to consistently hear this, because not only does Harry not fit in with the “typical kids” he also does not fit in with the “typical autistic kids” either.
So what am I meant to do with this information? How am I supposed to make him feel apart of everything? If there isn’t a place for him to feel apart of it?
Most importantly this will also be having an effect on Harry, who will never feel like he belongs anywhere.
This sentence is being told to us by professionals who work with Harry, in many different areas. No matter how much I refer to the spectrum being wide and vast, that of course no two people will be the same. It’s always a case of Harry not fitting into every text box of what is seen as the “typical autistic child”
“Does he give eye contact?” “Does he sleep?” “Does he flap?” “Can he handle change?” “Does he express emotions“
The list is endless of the questions we get asked, or the indication checkers Harry is marked against. But Harry wasnt ever destined to fit in every box, because he is “typically him”
Harry is showing the world what it means to be yourself and why you don’t have to fit in anywhere to be accepted. Because when you accept yourself it’s then, that others can accept that we are all different.
I’m not saying our journey is going to be easy, we have already experienced many highs and many lows. But I constantly build Harry up to know that he can achieve anything he wants. Because you are more then what statistics say.
Because you will always be “typically you”