With every half term, there brings countless social media posts of families enjoying big days out for most of the week.
We normally get asked “so what are your plans for half term?” and I use to dread that question, purely because I felt I needed to explain why we would be having
“A quiet one” without sounding like I was a mother who couldn’t be arsed to take her kids on big days out like everyone else. Or arrange to see some of his school friends.
When really I didn’t need to explain to anyone, and I just needed to simply say “It would be quiet one spent together”.
But I think that’s the issue sometimes as a parent of a child with additional needs, you pre-empt where people may judge you on things. So you try to give explanations on everyday conversations.
Half terms are busy and Harry isn’t fond of busy places, for him having spent the last term in a busy classroom/school. The last thing he wants to do is go to busy places with lots of kids, or dare I say see the ones he normally sees in school because he just wants a break from them all until the next term. And part of half term is making sure it’s his time to enjoy his break as he wishes. Which is something I think needs to be spoke about more.
He just wants to rest and recover before attending the next term. The downtime is needed and nothing prepares me for how tired he feels too. The drained white look across his face and the solitude he looks for in his room, is something at times I feel sad about. Because I feel like we should be spending time together and “making the most of half term”. But with each half term I’ve come to adjust to our new normal and understand that sometimes he finds peace in being on his own.
We do however get out for walks in quiet places mostly his favourite place the beach, but we normally try to do a big day out once a month or every two months. Because that’s as much as Harry can handle, he has his favourite places he likes to attend and we will go there. But we let him decide when he feels up to going and if he doesn’t then we are fine with that, I’ve got to a point where I know he ain’t missing out on anything because he is still happy doing his own thing.
We find Harry becomes the purest form of him when he is own, and that’s what is needed to ensure he keeps his brain & body happy. I don’t mind sitting on the cold beach as wind scatters sand across my face, because I can see how happy he is in being free and on his own.
We need to normalise this type of behaviour & activities. Family time is spent in many different ways, don’t judge someone because they haven’t posted lots of pictures on social media about their half term. Because happiness is a state where nothing is missing ♥️