Sorry it’s going to be a long one
But I’m really buzzing to share this, because I’ve felt so deflated at times during my learning. But I had my mock assessment for level 1 before Christmas which could determine if I could take my exam early.
Drum roll………. I scored 75% which I couldn’t believe but I was thrilled. This is from a girl who got an E in her GCSE at school.
I did however go 10 minutes over, but my tutor allowed this as she is pushing for extra time in my exams.
Firstly being for my anxiety over maths, and as discussed before I am having couselling to help my anxiety in general and process things. Secondly because this is first time I will share this, but as I’ve mentioned before about being honest more this year. I am on a waiting list for an ADHD assessment, this has been something that’s been going on for a while behind the scenes and the start of learning about me. (Something I feel I do need to do such more in another post)
Although the waiting list is 4 years, it is evident in my learning that adaptations are needed to help me. Which is also something I am learning how to, and putting measures in that are helping myself. But don’t get me wrong it’s still incredibly challenging for me and draining. My tutor is constantly barraged with emails and is incredibly supportive and understands the reassurances I need.
But I have my LSA (learning support advisor) meeting this month at college, where I will have a couple of assessments to determine if I can be granted 15 minutes extra during my exam along with a room of my own. As I do become easily distracted by things around me, then panic sets in with the timers too. Sorry Harry I think you adopted that from me .
So if I successfully pass this level 1 paper at end of this month it gives me a D. Which then means I can go on to learn and take my level 2 paper in the same year which is equivalent to a C and what I need. I have a long way to go and alot to learn, but this has boosted me a lot.
Harry & Jess gave me a round of applause when I told them and honestly since confronting my anxiety over maths. It has helped me connect on another level with Harry, because of his love for maths. I am understanding what it is he loves about it and I think it’s helping me understand him more too. I didn’t want to dread something he absolutely adores.
I have explained to both Harry & Jess about why I am relearning my maths. I felt it was important to let them know because learning is hard and I wanted them to know there is no shame in starting again.
For once I am really proud of myself, not words that would leave my mouth normally.
But if I could see my maths tutor from school, I would tell them that I wasn’t setting myself up to fail. I just needed a bit of support and understanding, and that not everyone is mathematically connected. Some of us can just see the patterns in other aspects of life. ❤️🌎