Do you ever get that feeling, that no matter what you say it isn’t really relevant or to be believed?
The eye rolls or the empty glares as you say what you feel, just fill the silent void. Because that’s really all the answer you need right there isn’t it? Do you really need to continue?
Maybe your concerns, are seen as you just looking for extra things in your child or children?
Because you parent and autistic child, you now appear to be assuming other things are present?
Or did you just read it somewhere and assumed it was relevant to your child? Your just trying to Tick boxes”
Or do you just assume your other children must be following the same path because your “just looking for it”?
“Stop worrying”
“Just stop overthinking things”
“You just think that because (name) does that”
“They are still young”
“They will grow out of it”
“We don’t have those concerns”
“How do you know they haven’t just copied them?”
“It’s part of autism, stop looking for anything else”
And with every reply I receive, part of me fades away and the loneliness creeps in.
I just want someone to listen, I want someone to see me as the person I am and the feelings & worries I carry.
Not just as “Harrys mum”, because I know by referring to me as that, it is putting me into that “you know the one, that special needs boy mum”.
So despite what I have to say, I already have the invisible wall to break down before I even open my mouth.
Because I carry that stigma.
Well here’s what I want you to know!
My name is Melanie, I’m mum to two in fact and I don’t imagine things are there, nor do I go looking for things. They may not grow out of it, and how long do I have to wait?
You may not see the same things as I do because my children are at there most safest with me. Maybe they have shown you, but it’s been brushed off?
Not everything is a part of autism and they don’t copy struggles. They need validation, they need support. That isn’t a learnt behaviour that is a raw emotion & a cry for help.
When I tell you something it takes a-lot for me to share those feelings, because I’ve been judged before and I know it’s likely to happen again. But Im trusting you not to do the same. Im doing my children an injustice if I don’t voice their needs, I carry the weight of two worlds upon my shoulders and I’m stopping gravity pulling them down into darkness.
Just as every child is different, every mum/parent is different. Not all stories follow the same way, not every path leads to the same destination.
Please just stop and listen to us 🌈